Ask a friend survey

This is one of my all time favorite writing exercise for Self-exploration and ultimately, Self-compassion and Self-love.

It's the ASK-A-FRIEND SURVEY, by Danielle LaPorte in her fabulous book, The Fire Starter Sessions.

Not realizing our own self-worth, our own gifts and value is an epidemic in women, at least in my therapy room!

Sometimes dislodging a poor self-concept requires the candid truths from our most trusted allies. To take this quiz you'll need to bravely call on that one soul, that special person who knows you best and you trust the most. It might be a childhood friend, schoolmate, business partner, or even your mom!

Take a deep breath, and send this survey to them asking if they wouldn't mind helping you see yourself in the light they see YOU in. If at all possible, have them answer these questions in your presence, at least virtually. You can ask other friends to do the questionnaire too if you need more feedback to get crystal clear about that girl in the mirror.

Dear Friend, 

1. What do you think is my greatest strength?

2. How would you describe my style of living?

3. What do you think I should let go of?

4. When do you feel that I am at my best?

5. What do you wish I were less of, for my sake?

6. When have you seen me really shine?

7. What do you think I could give myself more credit for or celebrate more?

After you've received your feedback, notice how it feels to hear these reflections of you. What did you really need to hear and believe is true? What became illuminated about the things you hadn't considered enough, what you might want to integrate into your self-concept more? And, what about the things you need to let go of - do you agree with what your friend had to say?

We all need mirroring of what is true about us. We need to have those qualities and experiences reflected back to us by others who can really see us. If you didn't get enough of this as a young person, you may really be needing this and just not realize it's something to miss.

I hope this was helpful for you as you traverse your spiritual journey. Your special light is needed and you'll be more fulfilled when you allow yourself to shine it brightly. You're beautiful in that light! 🤩

If you love learning about your authentic self through questionnaires, we have several you can enjoy for free. Here are two of my favorties:

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